My Evil, My Drug  

Posted by soreal

How are you guys? I'm afraid I'm not my usual perky self today. Just yesterday morning dada & I had a fight over some really petty reason. So petty you would laugh if I tell you so I won't. I was really, really mad, as in crazy mad and I hated it. I hate it every time I'm furious; I wish I'm just one of those few people who can be extraordinarily cool and collected even when angry. When I'm vexed to the maximum, I can do so much damage like a hurricane and almost impossible to control as well. Let me give you an insight of how I feel when I'm angry, some of you may have boarded the same boat before but a few may find it alien.
It's like this evil part of me is in control and I can't do anything about it. I know I have to let it out, I have to blow off steam or I'll burst and that is more terrifying. When I'm angry I go numb to everything, I only feel unadulterated fury. It's a rage I can't describe except that it consumes me and makes me feel I can do anything. I can bump my head against the wall so hard, I can cut myself with a razor and not feel pain till the anger subsides. It makes me incapable of rational thinking so I end up hurting the people around me as well as myself. I don't get angry a lot but when I do, I scare myself.
Anger can be compared to some drug substance in so many ways. Of course any emotion present in highly concentrated dosage can be compared to it. Too much love, too much joy, too much sorrow, too much hate..We're left to choose the lesser evil, or the evil we have not yet tried..

This entry was posted on Monday, January 28, 2008 . You can leave a response and follow any responses to this entry through the Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) .


Sabi nila wait for 20 minutes,then our rational thinking will come back.When we are in great emotional state, the part of the brain that is responsible for just thinking is blocked.

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